So most of the time, I'm known for my "peace, love, aloha" disposition. I'm generally nice to most of the people I encounter. You have to go far out of your way to bring out my dark side. Or you just need to be grumpy. Or I just need to be in a "don't trifle with me" state of mind. Replace the word "trifle" with the f-word of your choice. You get the idea.Those of you who know me well have seen this feistier side of me, and you cut me slack with that when I need it. Mahalo for that.
So yesterday, I was dealing with a spouse who had every right to be grumpy with a cold. The only problem was that I was also a little out of sorts with "who knows what" at the same time. So I wasn't about to put up with any whining, sniveling, or any other BS headed my way. I don't even remember what was even said in the exchange, but before I knew it, he looked at me and exclaimed, "You're a contentious little FROG!!!! " I'm not sure if that was in reference to my French side, or what, but I rather like it. I really don't like to be contentious. But being a feisty little frog is ok with me. The little coquís that we have in Hawaii pack a pretty good punch with the noise they make. I don't really want to be that annoying, but it's nice to know that we can pack a punch when necessary.
2 Comments
We went to the Klawock School Spring Concert this evening. This is a cause worth supporting: www.DonorsChoose.org/KlawockBands Shawn and I often refer to a "heroic journey" metaphor that counselors sometimes use when people are suddenly thrust into situations that require getting out of one's comfort zone, and taking on some kind of challenge that ends with insights that change the traveler in some way. The Wizard of Oz is a classic example of one of those heroic journeys. There are obstacles along the way: "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" And crazy stuff happens during the trip. In the end, Dorothy is a changed person, and "there's no place like home." Parenthood is certainly one of those heroic journeys. Even though I taught kids of all ages over the course of thirty years, and have had lots of parent conferences, I still haven't had any idea of what it's really like to step into a parent's shoes. To me, it's like someone doing a school visit for a day or two, and then think s/he is an education expert because they went to school once. My teacher friends know what I mean here. So I don't think one can truly understand parenting, until one becomes a parent. That said, I think I gained a couple of insights after last week's heroic journey. I’m still no expert on parenting, as I have no kids. Yet 30 years of teaching and working with kids of all ages has taught me a few things, including the fact that kids thrive on consistency and follow-through. Last week I had the same feeling of almost nervous anticipation when Ash and Kade get off the school bus, that I had when I waited to greet the kids coming to my classroom: be ready to be “present.” We established a good routine, and after a little resistance, they really got into doing their homework with me. The only difference for me is now I get myself psyched up with an espresso so that I can bring that energy to the table ;). This is where I think younger parents might have an advantage, with greater physical stamina. This week, I only got short taste of what it takes to have it 24/7. Just as I was honored to earn the trust of parents of my school kids, I am honored to have earned the trust of Ashlyn, Kade, and Sawyer's folks. And nobody died or had to go to the emergency room. I’ve never really had much of a “maternal instinct” and I’ve always wondered how parents keep things running the way they do, with jobs, sports, school schedules, etc., without losing their shit. Or at least I didn't think I had that instinct. This past week, I’ve learned that you “just do it.” And things just seem to work out, most of the time. Shawn and I were both a little shocked that I was able to get into this previously unknown “mom-mode” that I thought didn’t exist in me. Previously, I would have never said yes to taking care of kids in this way, not even for my own relatives. So Shawn was pretty impressed with me this last week, in that he saw a side of me that neither of us knew existed. I was also way more appreciative of him, and of my quiet, orderly life, and my relative freedom in life. There were also so many great moments that gave me a little insight into why it's all so worth it for parents. Cruising around with these kids, storytime with Sawyer, homework and school with Ash and Kade, the really unexpected adventures with all of them, and all the love and cuddles. Funny, I was not really much of a cuddler before. What's HAPPENED to me??!!! Last night I got to come home, sleep in my own bed, and I have now "stepped back into my own movie." Shawn is also really happy to have his wife back. Even with this new insight, I still have no regrets about the direction our own lives have taken.I like being an "auntie", and I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I'm still in "recovery mode" from last week. There's a bouquet of flowers sitting here from an "adult kid" in my life (first time that's ever happened to me near Mother's Day), and a very sweet card that coincidentally showed up in the mail yesterday from another friend, almost 3,000 miles away. Since my own mother passed away a few years ago, I've had a lot of mixed emotions on previous Mother's Days. Today is one of the brighter Mother's Days I've had since she's been gone. Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing Moms out there, with fondest aloha. Spring has made another appearance here, since last night. Shawn and I now have the kids' school/headstart/baseball schedules firmly engraved in our heads. We don't even need to look at our cheat sheets, or my bullet journal to figure out where we're supposed to be when. As Sawyer says, we've "Got it!" Kade and Ashlyn have the misfortune of having a former teacher running their ship this week, so the "I don't have homework," or "I forgot my homework at school," doesn't work. School is close by, and it's easy for us to go back and get it. And we now have the ritual of getting it done (or pau, as I like to say) before ball practice, and on non-ball days, before TV or anything else. With homework out of the way, we can have some pretty enjoyable evenings here. As my Hawaii friends already know, "Pau" means "finished" in Hawaiian/Pidgin. "Pau hana" means the end of the work day, and time to relax and have fun with family and friends. While Ash and Kade are practicing baseball, Sawyer likes to take me on really wonderful beach adventures. He now can spot trollers, or "salmon catchers," because he knows that Shawn and I normally would be out there with our troller. We had a good walk along the beach and through the woods, where we found all kinds of interesting bugs, mushrooms, plants, and lots of rocks. Since everyone got their homework done, and because these are awesome kids, we decided to go to Papa's Pizza for dinner. (That's also code for "Tonie wanted a break from cooking dinner.") Then we went back to the Anderson home. Because it was so nice out, we had a hard time going back inside, even though we were getting close to bedtime-ish. So we enjoyed a beautiful sunset in the yard. I didn't let Shawn go home until Sawyer was pau with the axe and hammer. The young man is very adept at cutting wood. He also now knows how to test spaghetti for "al dente" doneness. After building us an evening fire, it's "pau hana" time for Shawn, and he goes back to our house for the night. I summon Shawn by phone in the mornings, so that he can help me get the kids going. Each night I'm having a harder time watching him go home, even though it's only a couple of blocks away. I guess all this makes me appreciate Shawn more, which is a good thing, after 33 years of marriage (36 years of togetherness).
I know nothing about raising chickens.I know even less about baseball. And last night, Kade asked me, "How can you not tell the difference between girls' bikinis and boy's underwear??!!" when he found some of his sister's underwear mixed up with his in his drawer. I dunno. The butt sizes looked approximately the same to me, and I'm wearing a really old pair of glasses while I wait for my new prescription. I told him that I've never had kids, so I really don't know the difference. And when I was a teacher, I wasn't spending my time checking out kids' underwear. As for chickens, Kade and Ash are pretty good chicken-wranglers. Shawn knows a thing or two about baseball, and the parent volunteers who coach and run the practices really amaze me. Because I'm finally caught up with house chores, I now have the luxury of getting a couple of hours during the day, while the kids are in school, when I can visit my own house. I can now get a few things done at my own home, and even have a little quiet time to reflect on all this. Then I can get ready to pump myself up for the afternoon and evening activities with a double-espresso. I used to only drink tea. But now that I'm once again following a "school schedule," with kids, I'm almost at the same level of sleep deprivation as when I was teaching full-time. I wish I were a little better at taking naps. Lifelong learning: gotta love it. I just looked in the mirror briefly this morning, and I noticed that my hair has gotten a bit grayer this week. Every now and then I find myself in (or put myself in ;) situations where I feel like I'm swimming against a very strong current, and I might possibly drown. Most of my teacher friends can probably relate. I felt it literally when I got caught in a rip at Makalawena Beach in Hawaii. It also happens in some of those figurative ways that anyone who works in teaching, counseling, or other human service professions might experience. Just when you think you're about to establish some "professional boundaries," you get sucked into a current of events that suck you in, and involve you more deeply than you ever thought possible or appropriate. I have to remind myself to swim parallel to the beach, keep my head above water, and I'll eventually make it back. I haven't drowned yet ;)
I’ve been mostly away from my home, harps, and “regular life” since Sunday. I'm already feeling just a tad homesick, even if I’m only a couple blocks away. It's pretty silly of me to feel like that, but I look forward to being back in my regular saddle again next week. It's all for good cause, and there are lots of magical moments on this little journey. I miss having Shawn with me in the evenings, but he is an excellent "relief skipper" when I need it. Shout out to Ollie and Noah for Boys Day (Tango no sekku 端午の節句!). ! We miss you guys! Another shout out to all my teacher friends/colleagues this week, and to all the PTA folks who've made those teacher appreciation weeks memorable for us. I have a lot of fond memories of you all. Due to some unexpected events this week, I won't be able to do Island Jam this Thursday, but I hope to be there the following week, when I get back to a more regular harping schedule. I also probably won't be posting here as much. In the mean time, we're having fun with these awesome characters. Thirty years of teaching kids of all ages didn't quite prepare me for this... And now that I've had a double-espresso, I'm once again ready for the afternoon/evening shift. "Hmmm, she didn't used to drink coffee..."
It was a great opening day for baseball in Craig today. Next time I will use Shawn's phone to take pictures, since my own phone camera isn't as sharp. Photos start with today's opening ceremony and follow with some shots of the AP&T-Craig Fish game. A couple of days ago, I had the pleasure of taking an impromptu beachcombing excursion with the charming young man in the picture with me. His siblings were at baseball practice at the nearby ball park in Craig. So Sawyer decided to show me all of his forts and haunts along the beach here. He also thought it would be fun to overturn as many large rocks as possible to look at crabs. He's right. We found lots of cool little crabs, as well as limpets, mussels, interesting little worms, and lots of really neat rocks. Then he pointed out to the filtered light through the mist across Bucarelli Bay, and exclaimed, "Tonie, look! Isn't it beautiful?!"
"It sure is, Sawyer. It sure is!" This guy is a really fun date! It also happens that Sawyer's family dog, Rainy, likes to come down to our house to visit. She seems to enjoy chilling during my harp practice. Today her favorites seemed to be Handel's Theme and Variations, and Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven. We later took a good rest together. We let Rainy hang out inside with us, as the other dogs near us go nuts when she comes in our yard. So things are a little more peaceful when she's inside with us. Over fifteen years ago, Shawn gave me some KitchenAid pasta attachments for my birthday, or maybe it was Christmas. Back then, I was teaching more than full-time, so I tried the attachments once, made a big mess, and promptly packed the beautiful things away, in anticipation of someday having more time to monkey with such things. That time has come. The mixer and the attachments got shipped to Hawaii a few years ago. Last winter, I found them in our container over there, and decided to ship them with my harps to Alaska. And miracle of miracles, our local store in Klawock carries semolina flour! So I read up on making home-made pasta, and made an experimental batch of home-made fettuccine a couple of weeks ago. We were very pleased with the results. Today is another one of those chilly, drippy days just begging for another indoor cooking project. So I came up with a lasagne, made with freshly made noodles. The texture of the noodles are so much better than the packaged ones. I'm getting hooked on this. The only problem with this lasagne is its sheer size. If you happen to stop by, we have quite a bit left over. Over the years, I've noticed that many of my good friends have a common trait of being really good story tellers. Our house-mates in Hawaii are no exception. We currently have friends who are taking care of our place in Kea'au while we're at home in Southeast Alaska. Stephen, Mónica, and their son (and Desi, their magical little dog) have enriched our lives since moving in with us there later last winter. They really excel at building relationships. Mónica commutes monthly or bi-monthly between California and Hawaii, while Stephen and their son, hold down the fort at our place. Monica is a dynamic, "people-saavy" innovator, who can figure out complex situations for any kind of organization. She's super organized, and she is the glue that holds everything together. She used to work with Shawn at Cabrillo, where she helped him with all kinds of thorny situations. Her husband, Stephen is working on the final project for his doctoral dissertation in Literature (Translation and Adaptation Studies). His enthusiasm for his project, and for life in general, has been really infectious. Steph and and his son are two of the most creative, imaginative people I've ever met. They also love to cook, and they became great "hosts" for us in our home. They were always coming up with inventive recipes for ono food and drink, and they had a way of making me feel like I was "on vacation" while at home. I also loved all the liquid chalk diagrams on our windows, outlining Steph's project. Steph got me hooked on the French OSS 117 series, which is like a parody of James Bond 007. That, and some hilarious true stories from Steph's life often had me bursting with laughter and incredulity. Steph is already an awesome professor, if he chooses to do that with his PhD. He really engages you with his work and his stories. Lit Class would not be boring with him! We're honored to have gotten to know these guys better while we were in Hawaii together.
It really brightened our week to get a call from Steph the other day, and to hear about their life in Hawaii while we're away from there. I love hearing how their son is really thriving in our local school. I remember being pretty impressed with the Kea'au Middle School staff, when we helped this family complete the enrollment process. Kea'au exemplifies good educational communication practices, contrary to some of the more negative rumors we had previously heard about East Hawaii public schools. I just finished reading the current script for Steph's project, which is an adaptation of the Shakespeare play Othello, and it really moves! Steph is a former Marine, whose military experiences around the globe lend a compelling authencity to his productions. I've read some of his previous works, and have seen videos of some of his and Mónica's presentations. They have a phenomenal talent for putting together impressive professional productions within the confines of the fast-paced UC Santa Cruz academic quarter. Soon after his arrival to our place, Steph established his visiting researcher status at UH Hilo, and is now working with UH Hilo on a community-wide production of his play. It looks like the production will take place during the fall of 2020. I'm excited to possibly work on some harp music for a scene or two in this one. You can check out some of Steph's work here (for mature audiences; It's not PG-rated, so keep that in mind, if you have youngsters around): https://stephenrichter.sites.ucsc.edu/works/ If you download and read the 'Ōlelo script, you might even find my alter-ego in there. it's rather flattering ;). Some of Steph and Mónica's earlier works can be found here: https://arts.ucsc.edu/works_and_ideas/monica-andrade-stephen-richter https://www.dramatistsguild.com/members/stephenrichter/ Thanks for keeping up my aloha, guys! |
Details
Tonie OgimachiA few things I'm passionate about: CategoriesArchives
February 2020
|